I have a confession to make.
There is a skeleton in my closet.
I've kept it hidden away for years, but the time has come to open the door on the awful truth...
I AM A RECOVERING ACADEMIC.
I'm a Phi Beta Kappa, magna cum laude graduate of Pomona College, a Woodrow Wilson Fellow with an M.A. and Ph.D from Princeton, and a former Associate Professor of English at DePauw University.
I'm so ashamed.
But I've enrolled in a twelve-step program that has saved my life as well as my very soul.
I have renounced jargon and my addiction to it.
I have suppressed my contempt for the intellectual pygmies who surround me and have embraced humility.
I am even trying hard to listen to voices other than my own.
It's a monumental struggle; there have been set-backs; and there will, I am sure, be other failures in the future. But I am determined to put this terrible past behind me once and for all.
So there you have it: my humiliating beginnings.
And now, for the rest of the story, I'd like to turn to my official biographer, Greg Cunningham.
"After earning a doctorate at Princeton, Dan Bronson taught English and American literature at Indiana's DePauw University. His consuming passion for the movies inspired him to create a film program at DePauw and later led to an internship at Universal Studios, where his mentors included Academy Award winning writer-director George Seaton, legendary film editor Verna Fields, and acclaimed producer-director Gilbert Cates.
"Dan went on to a career as a story analyst at Universal, Fox and Paramount, as Associate Story Editor at Filmways, and eventually, as Executive Story Editor at Paramount Pictures, where he found and recommended such varied films as Witness and Pretty in Pink. He wrote the story notes for many Paramount productions, including Top Gun and Young Sherlock Holmes, and supervised the early development of Godfather III.
"A call from Jeffrey Katzenberg lured Dan to Disney, where he began a career as an independent writer-producer, working not just at Disney but also at Interscope, Paramount, Tri-Star, MGM, Orion, Largo, HBO, USA, CBS, NBC, and ABC. He did uncredited work on Marlee Matlin's Hear No Evil and John McTiernan's Die Hard: With a Vengeance, but is best known for HBO's Ed Harris thriller The Last Innocent Man and NBC's Death of a Cheerleader.
"Dan is currently writing books and has just completed a memoir he calls Confessions of a Hollywood Nobody."
You want the whole sordid story?
The behind-the-scenes dirt that nobody dared dish until now?
Consult my heartbreaking work of staggering genius, Confessions of a Hollywood Nobody. Simply click on this convenient link.